When Do We Get to Recover?

I know that recovery is a process, but who are we fooling here? The other day I lost my temper and your father says you react because you are having withdrawal symptoms. My reply is when will the withdrawal symptoms end and today is a classic example.

You requested your presentation to be emailed to you. I discovered your messenger was still logged in. This gave me an opportunity to verify who you are in touch with. In a different world, I wouldn’t need or even think of doing this. I live with an Addict who has little interest in truth or actual recovery. So, I must check up on her before things get out of hand. Today, my spying as you like to call it revealed the “birthday” gathering you hosted brought drugs into our home. Drugs that we don’t even know the name of. Perhaps if Sharon never divulges the name to you we will be lucky that you only had a short trip.

I live in fear of more than one person stepping into our house or your room. There is safety in numbers for you, safety in being able to hide your activities behind the others. Scapegoats in all of them should I find the wrappers or packaging.

What was an atrocity to me was you telling one college friend that you don’t do drugs or drink and asking the other what the special drug was that she shared with you when the both had come to our house for the same gathering. I’m shaking my head just thinking about it and wondering when will it all end.

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There are steps to recovery, but you are still sitting at the bottom of the stairs. We have tried and tried to get you to come up the stairs, but you continue to fall down. Another frustrating and disappointing day leaving us in the wind and waiting for you to come up the Steps to Recovery. 

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