This used to be only about BB, but more and more it’s not just her. I live stuck between two substance dependent people. BB and her father. The only problem is he doesn’t see he has problem or how his dependency leaves me handling all of this all alone.
Last night was a case in point. He had gone out for “exercise at the gym”. In the meantime, I find out her stalker is back in action. We thought this had been taken care of, we had done all the right things (police reports and informing the U.S. Embassy here) and he had gone away for a while, a very short while.
The phrase “Hell hath no fury….” is hurled against women, but it’s not only women who fight back when they are rejected. Worse when the person is an addict who has no intention of recovering. So, he has threatened all manner of scandal and terror against my daughter because she has rejected him. She told him clearly on several occasions and he refused to accept it. She even offered a hand of friendship only which he construed to mean she had feelings for him. Thus, he has become her stalker, her terrorizer, and the threat of all threats.
Now the problem is my daughter does not handle stress well. Most recovering addicts don’t from what I’m told. So, it’s not surprising. So, when my daughter is sitting sad, shell-shock like in her room with tears running down her face. I want to change that before she makes a wrong decision and takes something to relieve her stress, her pain that she shouldn’t. Her go-to drug is sleeping pills with oxy taking second place. It would be great if I had a supportive spouse, but mine is out getting sloshed. It would be great if wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing family members would also stay away, but of course I’m leaving in a dream world.
I call her father to explain what is going on, but it was a HUGE mistake. When he arrives home he gives an oscar winning performance basically kicking her further down into a hole. I knew all the words that came out of his mouth were lies. So, I said nothing at all. I waited until the time he was asleep and then verified what I already knew.
In the morning I congratulated him on his performance. He back tracked and tried to convince that it wasn’t, but I had all the information. Then he decided to do the right thing. Nothing is ever easy.
My daughter going off to university still looks shell-shocked. Please keep her in your prayers today that she stays clean and sober.