It seems a cycle of never ending errors. One would hope that once you know you are in the wrong, then you would not repeat that same error. Some must learn the hard way or die.
Even in rehab today I was given another news. Amid claims that she was not involved in the actual theft, but was a recipient of a few stolen pills. Then she wondered why her main doctor was flabbergasted with her to the point of not speaking with her.
I also expressed my disappointment in lack of self discipline even now. Especially, when all she asks is to come home daily. Today, I had to ask her how I could trust her after hearing she again took the pills. Her response was at least I was honest about it. I said, yes, you are always honest about it after the fact. However, you still will take them. You have no self restraint and there is the problem. She says, no, I don’t have to take them. I can take them or not take them at any time.
Today, she has had a change of mind. To which I finally said, how do I know that all of what you are saying is only to get home and once home you will return to the same path you were on the last time. Of course, she just kept repeating that no it wouldn’t be and that she would follow whatever decision her father and I make for her. Not ready to believe it yet.
Actually, with all the lies and stories made as a cover for drug deliveries and parties it is difficult to believe much that she says. She has broken our trust over and over in many different ways and, yet, she doesn’t understand why her word that she is “ready” to come home doesn’t really mean a whole lot. I told her today though.
Today more than ever, it seemed a case of her treatment needing a rinse and repeat therapy session.