I started off this morning on In The Rooms which is a great social community of recovering addicts and loved ones. Then I made my way over to Life Ring which is an alternative recovery group. I found them when I was looking for online resources for BB. I may have mentioned since we discharged her earlier than what her doctor and counselor felt was needed they didn’t allow her to have access to their “Support Structure” meaning no group meetings specifically. She even called the doctor once and asked to come because she was feeling vulnerable and he said no. Is it any wonder she relapsed?
I spend a lot of time wondering what did we do wrong? Why did she relapse? This is why I have begun blogging and turning to online networks, to make sense of it all. Google+ also has quite a few Communities that are helpful. For instance, today I found this article http://www.alternativesintreatment.com/recovery-tools/creating-schedule-will-reduce-relapse/?apcid=8740. When BB came home before we were told to have her on a schedule. Keeping her on that schedule was difficult. She would stay up late to try (supposedly) to connect with her son and that would lead to her not getting up early enough to attend office with me. From Office she would go to University. From University to home. Then she endeavored to keep in touch with rehab friends most of whom, like her, had not completed the program. She told me that her doctors had said that by doing this it would help her from relapsing. I am beginning to see some of the flaws now.
Robin Williams ended his life recently and all who admired him were left in shock. So many are posting blog posts on depression and addiction and why it may be that he took this sad step. Today, a Life Ring member posted this post http://lifering.org/2014/08/aftermath/. I found it informative and in someways it helped give me some understanding of my daughter’s problems (perhaps) and hopefully I will find more posts like these that will help me understand and help me be a better support to her in the future.
Today, I’m making white chocolate brownies that I hope I will send to her in the next couple days with a note of love. We all miss her terribly.