New Beginnings?

cropped-uen.jpgWhen we first decided to bring our daughter back to our house, it was with mixed feelings. We all were happy she was coming, but we also worried about what that would mean for our family. I have struggled personally with the decisions we made since then, but am trying my best. Soon after her arrival we admitted her to a rehab in hopes that where we had failed they would succeed. They counseled her and she seemed to be brighter emotionally. Finally, after 3 months we brought her home. The initial days seemed she seemed fine. Mostly she was compliant to every single request we made of her.

Within a short period of time she was working and in university, both things seemed to make her happy. This euphoria was to be short lived. After just over a month at university, she cried saying she wanted to drop the semester and that she would begin again from the next semester. Everyday, she is on the run from school to friends. She has begun a huge project that she seems to be doing well with, but is also stressful.

Everyday, I wake up wondering what new beginning awaits me. Usually I’m disappointed. Today was a usual day, at least usual since my grown up daughter has come home. Life is chaotic and full of stress. Let me start with last night.

Last night when she finally came home, she sat down to begin work on a fabulous power presentation to impress her new boss. The sad thing it never actually got started. Her father and I both know she doesn’t eat, so he brought her a plate of food that she began to nibble on. When I didn’t hear any noise from her room for a while I went in to check on her only to find her curled up on her chair sound asleep still wearing her glasses and the computer had not even been turned on. Seeing her state, made me sad and worry as what could possibly cause someone to be in that state. Nevertheless, I figured I must get from there into her bed.

After clearing her bed, I got her into her bed. Then there was the matter of her cellphone which was at that point dead. After putting together a cord and plug that actually resulted in charging, I put that next to her bed and turned off her lights.

This morning I found her in about the same position as she was when I left her. Waking her up is like waking a dead person. Honestly. Each time I call her she tells me she’s awake, yet never moves from the bed. This goes on for about an hour before she actually moves. Then there are the 100 outfits (or more) before she actually settles on what she is wearing for the day. Then hair and makeup. Literally two hours later she is ready to walk out the door.

When she first returned from rehab, I got her a job working with me. Now, only two months later, after only 2 conversations with a local television station’s Program Director she has let it go all to her head and she hasn’t even started the job. In a country where people are renown for corruption, cheating, and lying it really is foolishness to “put the cart before the horse”.

Saying she is just fresh from rehab just barely covers it. Rehab really didn’t do much for her. After coming home she picked up from where she left off with the only difference being who she is doing it with. She is full of rationales for why she has done this, but it mostly falls flat. I know people who have gone through the same things without drugs, alcohol or any other crutches.

This blog is the blog that shouldn’t be, but I need an outlet so here I am.

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